Anyway the ultimately positive ones bring rushes of ecstasy and panic, while the extremely negative ones bring moments of fear and trembling. The one I experienced this week brought with it a flood of emotions including confusion, betrayal, fear, uncertainty, frustration, and my old friend loneliness. All of these things derailed me mentally and brought me to my knees. I fussed and cussed at God about it and all of these things and questioned Him why it had happened so suddenly and how am I going to survive this, and in His own way God answered.
I began to reflect on past events and paradigm shifts that occurred throughout my life. I began to think about all of the times that I was freaking out about one thing or another. I began to talk them out and feel the old feelings I felt in those times, and I heard God's silent voice whispering, "I took care of you then didn't I?" I said "Yes." He said "Don't worry I'm going to take care of you now." (almost exactly what I felt I heard Him say) "Just do what you need to do and follow me." (what may be implied.) So the wind has shifted, the tide has turned and once again I am depending on God for the future and adjusting my life to compensate for the shift. He hasn't failed me yet.
However, I would like my old friend loneliness to go away and never come back. He and I don't get along so well.
Shalom
Hair
the Theolobster
No comments:
Post a Comment